The Geese of ABG Capital

Welcome back to another installment about the Geese of ABG Capital! Last week we had tons of great things to say about our office geese. This week, we want to embark on a whole new journey into the world of the ABG Geese.

Sure these geese get tons of cuteness points as a babies, but that eventually wears off when they hit that inevitable “ugly duckling” phase. When this starts to happen, we notice that they get a little bigger and their feathers don’t look as soft and well kept. This is the point where they become less innocent, and more devious.

We’re not referring to their deviousness as them doing things like plotting to pop the tires on our cars or hit us with paintball guns as we exit the building after a long day. No. The deviousness we’re talking about is more subtle, but packs a powerful punch. We’re talking about goose crap. All over the parking lot and sidewalks. Did you know that a single goose can poop once every 20 minutes? It’s true and believe us we can prove it! We even started contests that would see who could run across the parking lot the fastest without stepping in goose crap. Luckily, our landlords understand this issue and we are so fortunate that they have a maintenance staff who keeps the parking lots and sidewalks clean. If they didn’t, we’d be in a load of trouble. Despite this downside, we accept our geese counterparts because those babies are adorable and entertaining to watch.

The ABG Capital GeeseSpeaking of entertainment, there comes a point sometimes where it gets painstakingly brutal to watch them interact with each other. There are a few key spots where these geese like to fight; an open area where a building might one day sit and right outside our Accounting Managers’ window. These fights basically turn into ‘Fight Club’ for geese and it does gets violent sometimes. There was even a time where some geese pushed a baby goose into the sewer drain! Thankfully, someone was able to get him out of the drain before something bad happened.

This story about the innocence of one baby goose is once again combated with a tale of goose horror. From afar, geese may seem like they are docile creatures, but we have story on top of story about close calls with these geese. Our first story takes us to the time a goose built her nest outside of the front door of our building. When geese lay their eggs, the mother will not leave that nest for any reason. They also become much more hostile when anyone gets close. In our case, we didn’t want anything to do with them or their nest, we just needed to get in the door! Eventually it got to the point where we had to get creative and use shields to block a fierce attack from the mother goose. People would resort to opening umbrellas in front of the charging goose and some would even sacrifice their legs as an effort to hold her back while they got in the door. It wasn’t long before someone alerted the proper authorities to come and relocate the next.

Once this situation was subdued, it was time to rethink whether having geese on the property was a good idea. So, like in many of these other situations, we called upon the help of the landlord and their maintenance staff. They installed a Goosebusters system that would blast the sounds of a shotgun, distressed geese, and coyotes every 10-15 minutes. This tactic was a success! For a little while at least… We did miss the innocence of those baby geese, but it was met with rejoice in the fact that we could freely walk around the parking lot without fear of being attacked or worse, having our SHOES attacked (you know they’re never the same once you step in stuff like that).

You may be thinking that this is the end of our goose story. If you are, you are very wrong… Tune in again next week to see what happens next!